


Here Inside My Mind, You Are The Loudest Sound

by Tortellini



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Abuse, Adult Content, Altered Mental States, Alternate Universe - Human, Child Abuse, Coping, Crying, Disturbing Content, Fear, Gen, Mental Breakdown, Mental Disintegration, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Torture, Past Violence, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, Wordcount: 500-1.000, mature content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-29 15:01:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11443308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tortellini/pseuds/Tortellini
Summary: [...] " There's a world inside Raivis Galante's head. It's a safe world. "Oneshot





	Here Inside My Mind, You Are The Loudest Sound

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: SeaLat, Crazy

There's a world inside Raivis Galante's head. It's a safe world. He lives in it when real life is too much. And that's a lot of the time.

"Raivis?" Toris bends down in front of his youngest brother. "I made you something to eat... You should get dressed..."

Raivis and his two older brothers, Toris and Eduard, had lived for many years with a man. Raivis didn't know this man's name. But he was a very bad man. He made Raivis do things he didn't want to do... He would hurt him, or make him watch Toris and Ed being hurt, if any of them did something wrong. He used Raivis as the object to make the others behave, since he was the youngest.

A few months ago they managed to escape. Toris and Eduard are legal adults now; and Toris has custody of Raivis.

All of them are in therapy. All of them are being checked up on. It's not helping.

"Raivis?" Toris rubs his shoulder and he's the only one who is allowed to touch him. Anyone else and he'd have a breakdown. "You need to eat something, little brother."

He doesn't. Toris can't make him.

The next day, there's a knock on the door. Toris is at work. Their apartment is too small, but Raivis doesn't mind sharing a room (it lets him know he won't be alone anymore). But Toris has a key. He wouldn't knock.

He is positive that it's the Bad Man. Raivis grabs the phone and crawls in his closet, struggling not to hyperventilate.

The front door opens. He can hear his heartbeat in his ears, his eyes.

"Hello?"

Raivis grips the phone, ready to dial 911, and Toris. He needs help. Oh god, he actually needs help.

The closet door opens. He's crying. But...it's not the Bad Man. It's a boy, a little younger than him, with bright eyes and messy blonde hair. He has thick eyebrows too.

"My mum sent me over to see if anyone was home since he knows you live here." The boy says like this isn't weird at all. "I guess I was bothering him. Oh well. Can I play with you?"

"W-w-what?" Raivis stutters in surprise. All this...because he was bored?

"I don't know any other kids on the street." He explains. "I'm Peter! Hey, um...are you all right?"

Raivis touches his cheek, damp with tears. Weak humiliation drips down the back of his spine. "Y-y-yeah, I-I guess..."

Peter sits down across from him. "You sound like you're lying. It's not nice to lie."

How could he explain to him what had happened? How could he talk about it?

"I-I'm o-okay." He insists. "Y-you just s-s-startled me, s'all..."

"Oh. Sorry. I knocked, and no one answered." He shrugs. "Mum would yell at me if I came back. And Mum is almost as scary as Da when he's angry."

"He?" He's never had parents before. But didn't you usually have...?

"Mum and Da are both guys." Peter smiles toothily. "Da calls Mum his wife, which makes him really mad, but he secretly doesn't mind it. I mean, I think. So I call him Mum!"

This kid is confusing.

"I'm adopted," he continues. "I used to live with my brother. He's a jerk and never paid any attention to me. Stupid Arthur..."

"D-did he f-forget to f-feed you?" He asks nervously. Peter's eyes widen.

"What?! No! He's not a jerk like that! Gosh, no, Arthur wouldn't do something dumb like that. Nah, he just didn't have enough time to spend with me so now I live with Mum and Da!"

"Th-that sounds nice..." Raivis whispers, drawing his knees up to his chest.

"Who do you live with?" Peter asks obliviously. Raivis flinches but he hopes he doesn't notice.

"M-my brother..." He says, willing himself to stop sounding so scared. Then he gets more confidence. A little more at least. "He-he's at work. He works a-as a...um, a retailer in Target..."

Peter's eyes light up again. "So you get a lot of free stuff?"

Raivis shrugs shyly. "I-I guess..."

"My Da works in Ikea. I get to eat meatballs and jump on the beds." Peter says. He offers Raivis a hand. "Do you wanna come out of the closet?"

Huh, that's what Feliks said to Toris before...

Raivis takes it gratefully. His hands are small and warm but not gross or anything. It's a comfort.

Peter pulls him up onto the bed. "I like your house. It's cozy."

"I-I share my room with my brother..." He admits. That makes it even more small.

"I don't share mine with anyone. But I don't have any brothers or sisters to share it with, so that kind of sucks." He shrugs and leans against the pillows. "It's nice you have your brother."

It is, Raivis thinks. He's lucky.

They talk more about themselves late into the afternoon. Peter asks to spend the night and Raivis shows him to the phone. He guesses Toris will be home soon too.

He isn't. Raivis would be freaking out if Peter wasn't here, he thinks. But he's calmer. And he answers his personal phone when Toris calls to tell him that he's just checking up on Eduard and his own boyfriend Feliks, before coming home with dinner.

Raivis and Peter go back in Raivis' room. He's exhausted from literally everything, so he leans back in the bed and just listens to Peter talk. He's twelve -- three years younger than Raivis -- and almost innocent. Certainly much more so than Raivis himself.

His eyelids get heavy. Peter pauses and pulls the blankets up. "You tired? I can wake you up when your brother gets home if you want."

He nods. "Th-thanks."

There's a silence. Peter lays down next to him, eyes gentle. Raivis can't help but ask. "...Peter?"

"Huh?"

"Do you... Do you think I'm crazy...?"

Peter doesn't hesitate. "No. You're tired."

But that's not what he meant.

A few hours later Toris comes home. He's holding a plastic Target bag in one hand. There are bags under his eyes too.

He walks in the room the two of them share. Raivis is asleep on the bed. He isn't even frowning in his sleep. For once, he looks okay.

Toris could cry. He pushes his hair out of his eyes, and kisses his forehead. Then he leaves to go to their tiny kitchen, to heat up the frozen food he bought. All he could afford.

Besides Raivis, the room is empty.


End file.
